“Slander in an Allow'd Fool: Twelfth Night's Crisis of the Aristocracy"

Shakespeare's plays are legends of literature. His plays were being performed to various groups of audience from different ranks or social classes, thus diverging based on people’s capacity to comprehend. Shakespeare's plays have turned out to be a symbol of society, culture and teaching. Like the play Twelfth Night who represented many classes of people in the society conniving their individual roles to the play to be more intriguing, refined and sophisticated.

Karin Coddon’s “Slander in an Allow'd Fool: Twelfth Night's Crisis of the Aristocracy” conveys about how the comedy play of Shakespeare intensifies the discrimination or isolation flanked between man and woman, master and servant, as well as aristocrats and the lower class of men. The author also focuses on the play’s inequitable and unmerited rulings with such disarray.

Aristocracy, as we all know, is the class of people grasping incomparable position and civil liberties, principally the inherited decency. More often than not, an aristocrat gets this social rank through hereditary advantages or merits.

Moreover, the author suggests that Twelfth Night should underpin different kinds of social manifestation rather than aristocracy or anti-court principles. The older forms of aristocracy that Shakespeare frequently writes about despise the spiritual and political totalitarianism and materialism of its enthusiasts in the society. These are all present in Twelfth Night according to Coddon, more specifically the scenes where Malvolio, in actual fact, wants to court or pursue Olivia.

Coddon used the older studies of Krieger and Weimann as regards to the classes of people that are represented by each character in the play. For instance, Draper is, to a certain extent, vicious with reference to Malvolio and Maria as paradigms of their social class.

Works Cited

Coddon, Karin S. “Slander in an Allow'd Fool: Twelfth Night's Crisis of the Aristocracy.” Rice University. Studies in English Literature, 1500-1900, Vol. 33, No. 2, Elizabethan and Jacobean Drama (Spring, 1993), pp. 309-325

The Autonomy of Affect

The political theorist and a prominent affect philosopher in the contemporary world, Brian Massumi, relates a story with reference to President Reagan. He was known by everyone as the Great Communicator. He was seen as unfathomable by those patients who are suffering with global aphasia and tonal agnosia. Those who have global aphasia could not barely comprehend with words, thus they are just using body language to understand each other. On the other hand, those patients with tonal agnosia could not grasp tone or any pitch that they hear; they are just relying on its grammatical structure and logical thinking.

Astoundingly, both groups of patients have found President Reagan to be a meager presenter who was unsuccessful to influence his listeners. But according to Massumi, Ronald Reagan is as effective as he is being regarded by other people who might have been listening to him when he speaks. As for Massumi, Reagan was an affective speaker. He characterized Reagan’s accomplishments in politics to his capacity to generate philosophical effects by means of non-ideological way that were affective.

Furthermore, the article gave emphasis to the importance of our body’s way of communicating and relating to other people. Massumi depicted this as a peripheral starting place in order for human beings to give a perception on what they think about our world. It is mainly a demonstration beyond belief and a set of restrictions and boundaries which transpire in people’s consciousness and ability to realize what was really important to them in this world.

True enough that the power of affect is mainly connected with politics. It instantaneously put forward a political intention mindfully looking over the conception of people’s open- mindedness or acceptance to the intense impact of the power to affect as well as the factor in which a person is being intensity. This intensity gives details as to why affect theory can every so often expedite what can be the effect of an affect. Affect can also be categorized as a cluster of intensities or emotions converging and joining each other in order to observe and explain how an emotion can affect every people who have seen and felt the latter

Hence, the term Affect engrossed on how the world is able to accept as well as to adapt to changes that are constantly happening in every second of a lifetime. The power or force that comes to pass from real passages and intensity can be the result of our connection to ourselves, our beliefs, the people we are interacting with and the coercion we are experiencing from within us. 

To sum up, affect is the coming out and the materialization of definite and genuine associations and the fall back hooked on implicit relations. There were different kinds of affection that can be related to emotion and this is because many of us cannot comprehend well by just having one intense feeling on something or someone we experience, rather we are full of notions that we are dealing in terms of our sentiments as human beings.

In conclusion, Brian Massumi’s explanation on affect is that the varying ability of our body to play a part and be included in the world. But nothing is constant but change. That is why our body has the capacity to shift or transform this power of affect to become a changing movement in one’s existence.

Works Cited

Massumi, B. “Cultural Critique: The Autonomy of Affect.” University of Minnesota Press. 1995

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Culture is very important to families who have strong bond or ties. Culture is critical in knowing and attending to the needs of a person. This can also affect the actions of a person when circumstances arise to an extent that he or she did not expect to happen or encounter. The movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding is about a woman who fell in love with a person that does not fit the requirements and preferences of her father in terms of an ideal man that he wants his daughter to marry and have a family with. He wants his daughter to marry a Greek man just like them because of their Greek family’s cultural upholding. Because of such conflict, the woman is confused on whether she has to follow her father’s desire in her own marriage or she should just let herself be happy with the person she wanted to be with regardless of differences in culture and personalities.

In perspective, the movie portrays how a person tends to get influenced or inclined by his or her family and the cultural upbringing that she used to subsist with. It depicts an identification of how culture influences a person’s deeds, outlook, inclination, and decisions in life. Hence, the movie gives an illustration on how significant it is to determine and resolve such conflicts concerning family heritage and cultural norms. It should give us learning that cultural differences should not affect how we interact with other people. We should learn to accept everyone who comes into our lives so that we can appreciate their worth and their identity regardless of our differences in culture and tradition.

Furthermore, the movie depicts how culture persuades consumer behavior and having a considerable outcome or end result on consumer buying decisions. Consumer behavior is profoundly influenced by means of cultural aspects and differences between countries, nationalities, religion, racial groups among others. In essence, culture is an element of the society that can convince people on how to act, how to interact and communicate with other people and how to decide or choose upon their buying decision. The decision people make will identify the factors that can influence them in their decisions in life and their choices in terms of their acquisition of goods and services.

Consumer behavior is also influenced or persuaded by some family members who have the authority or say among the other members of the family unit. In reality, when deciding on what and where to buy or obtain goods in the market, consumers come to a decision based on ethical criteria like race, educational attainment, social rank, profession or livelihood, and religious association.

Just like the protagonist in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the woman represents the consumers who are puzzled in choosing what really matters to them and on what things they will be satisfied or pleased about. Indeed, cultural norms and differences of beliefs of people bring about the conflict in the choices of consumers on whether they need to follow to the norm or pursue their decision based upon their personal preferences or lifestyle. What matters most is how we give respect to other people who have different views and beliefs and on how we would take this differences positively without destructing or hurting other people’s conviction and principles in life.

Deep Cuts

Appreciating a work of art is no different from staring at a beautiful scenery, an amazing red rose, or a majestic sunset. Easier said than done, do we really know how to appreciate the things in front of us? Same with art - there are a lot to see, identify and understand.

For me, it’s so much easier to appreciate the art that I used to know, see, feel and relate to. But, there is really a challenge of appreciating the art that is more difficult to understand and has different aspects to vouch on. It’s really hard to relate on something that you’re not quite interested in. It’ll be a pain in the ass, however, I know for sure that it’ll be worthwhile.

The best art I can relate to is music. If you have not yet experience to attend and listen to a music concert, then you’re totally missing out. Since it’s easier for me to understand and appreciate it, I can give always give details and personal experiences that are close to my heart. And as an added fact, listening to music alone can reduce stress and anxiety. It can also help me concentrate and have a peace of mind just by having it beside me every time.

Apparently, the pleasure provided by music challenges our permissive view of the bigger world ahead of us and the knowledge we got from our own experiences in life. Listening to music can be a start of something new for us. We can aspire to become musicians or instrument players, we can be like the directors and composers behind the scenes or we can just settle in being an aficionado of music in general.

If You Want to Motivate Someone, Shut Up Already.

The article of Brandon Irwin talks about having a companion or a group of people sharing the same interests as you and on how you can deal with them to earn positive results. If the motivation appears to be disadvantageous, perhaps it needs modification and a mindset that can think of better ways to meet both ends. It will all depend on the goal of such motivation, our relationship to the motivator, and our own perception of how this motivation should affect us. The author also states facts regarding exercises, motivators, buddies and group activities that can show this kind of dilemma or issue.

Encouraging one another is a great undertaking when it comes to business or personal relationships and perspectives. However, there were times that these derivatives will become an offset to those who want to achieve them or become motivated or inspired because of them. Moreover, we cannot change the fact that our moods can swing the other way around when we often see or hear things that we don’t exactly want, but are way beyond our control. 

Complimentary remarks, words of encouragement or some flattering comments do not basically whip up support to people in order for them execute well at some point in their workout. The thought is that some people gets the meaning that they are low standard as compared to better workout mates and pick it out as non-motivational to them. Unpredictably, silent exercise buddies were more motivational than the spoken one. In this regard, comparing ourselves with somebody who is more capable than us motivates us, particularly when they aren’t really cheering us vocally.

RANT | hated and taken for granted

Why are you here? Do you really think you belong? Is there someone out there who can beat the odds and fight for someone like you? Admit it. You know it from the start. You're the type of person who wants to do everything. Hear you. Notice you. Compliment you with words. But at the end of the day, no one really cares. Why? You don't know. Or maybe what you know might screw you. It's hard to pull it off, make yourself proud, then realized that they did not bother to see your worth. They were busy underestimating you, they were interested and focused with the wrong moves you do, the wrong words you say, the fucking wrong personality you have. They find you unattractive and unpleasant. Is that it? No. You're not enough. Disheartened? Yes, that's the only thing you can do. Back off and cry alone. Hoping that there's this someone, a knight in shining armor, who will save you and transform you from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan. Stop dreaming. You're not a fairy tale character. The reality is that you're stuck with that embarrassed body, striving your way to reach for the stars. Dead stars that fooled you. Broken dreams that hurt you. Oh, well. All you can do is sigh.

KLSP

I always wanted to be appreciated by people whom I love and treasure. I seek attention, wanted to be complimented for the great things I've done. I wanted to be rewarded for being able to achieve what I have now, to be regarded as the best daughter, the best student, the best friend, the special someone. But they ignore me. They don't give a damn.

URT | ENCHANTED

Through communication, we are able to send and receive messages to and from other people and transmit information in actual fact. This will result to interacting with others and knowing how they exchange few words and ideas effectively and give feedbacks after such conversation in order for them to understand each other. As communication nowadays has many medium and many forms, there are also many theories that lie behind it that needs to be addressed. 

One of those theories is the Uncertainty Reduction Theory. URT avows that humans habitually undergo vagueness, hesitation or uncertainty with reference to people they are not familiar with, thus, they are goaded towards conversing or opening up a discussion in turn to lessen or trim down such uncertainties that they have. The originators of this theory are Professors Berger and Calabrese. They invented the theory in year 1975 to principally state the importance in improving our human relationships. Moreover, the theory comes about being puzzled on new-fangled connection with people in an effort to congregate knowledge regarding how they act in order to foretell their behavior (Uncertainty Reduction Theory). 

A good exemplar of this situation presented by the Uncertainty Reduction Theory is the story of the movie, “Enchanted” by Walt Disney in 2007. In the said movie, the fairy tale world collided with the present day to day circumstances in Manhattan, New York City. The main conflict of the story was how the two main characters overcome the obstacles and hurdles if they decide to start a newly found romantic relationship albeit being fully aware that they live differently. But because they have solved the worries, fears and the conflicts of communication they had with one another, they have eventually succeeded with achieving what their hearts really want to scribble out through talking and listening to each other.

Relating to URT, Princess Giselle and Robert try to shrink uncertainty stuck between them throughout their first unexpected meeting in the real world. The extent is tapered along the fact that strangers take necessary paces to be able presume on the behavior of the other person. When the two main characters of the movie intermingled, they do not know each other at first, then they began to observe one another by asking some questions and having small talks to be able to know how each other is behaving since they are living in two different worlds, the one in an animated fairy tale kingdom while the other one is living in the busy city of New York. 

Hence, Uncertainty can be classified both as what they perceive on one another and what will they do about that perception. Also, the characters implied the passive and active strategies of the URT. Robert was very passive in observing Giselle as if he doesn’t want other people to know that he really wants Giselle to stay with them and know more about her. On the contrary, Giselle was actively asking other person in the real world about Robert since she is very interested on him. She tried asking Robert’s daughter about him in order to know how she can be able to help him communicate smoothly.

Meanwhile, the story made the viewers see the difference between the two worlds which the character got into. The magical theme that the setting offered contributed a lot to the atmosphere. The main problem of the story was the eagerness and anxiousness of the main characters to know how they can be able to overcome vacillations even if they know that they can never be together. The guts of Giselle in facing the challenges and changes in her life the moment she got out of fairy tale kingdom mainly portrayed the good heart and brave spirit that she has that’s why she made a great stay there though she encountered conflicts which is expected. 

The central point of the story is to be patient and have a sense of social interaction and observing how people on earth behave. The idea that the author wants to convey is to not do things in a hurry and for the main characters, Giselle and Robert, to fight against uncertainties with regards to how they will be able to communicate well with one another if they have two different worlds to think of. They learned to first consider the communication barrier or gap between them and prevail over it before doing something and they became responsible enough for the consequences that occur.

True enough that the Uncertainty Reduction Theory contributed important points to the theories and aspects of communication and it has positioned communication in a fundamental situation. Furthermore, it endows mostly with a continuing discussion and discourse about the soundness of the uncertainty reduction theory in helping to solve some predicaments and setbacks on the area under discussion of relationship improvement and communication development (West & Turner). 

In addition, relationships of people are full of doubts because of so many issues including communication. From first meet up of two unfamiliar persons to having a close tie between them, they experience difficulties in expressing themselves because of hesitations in communicating with one another plus knowing how the other person behaves. Uncertainty Reduction Theory presupposes that escalating stages of uncertainty can formulate more communication problems (Reis & Sprecher).

Works Cited

Uncertainty Reduction Theory. communicationstudies.com. Communication Studies. Web. n.d.

< http://www.communicationstudies.com/communication-theories/uncertainty-reduction-theory>.

West, R. & Turner, L. “Chapter9: Introducing Communication Theory.” mheducation.com. 

Online Learning Center. Web. n.d.

<http://highered.mheducation.com/sites/0073135615/student_view0/chapter9/index.html>.

Reis, T. & Sprecher, S. “Encyclopedia of Human Relationships.” sage-ereference.com. 

SAGE Publications, Inc. April 17, 2009

< http://www.sage-ereference.com/view/humanrelationships/n546.xml>.

BOLA

Basketball game reminiscence; surreal moments, reel highlights, indeed. This was the sport every one of all ages has learned to love. Professional basketball in the Philippines has always been consistent in pooling a group of undoubtedly talented basketball players with the kind of character that make their co-players want to play with them, the opponents to play their hardest against them and the public to love them big time.

Here are some tips basketball wanna-be’s need to follow and surpass:

• Do what you are good at. It won’t hurt to try and try until you finally get the rhythm of the game. Secure the ball always.
• Work hard and keep hustling. If you wanted to stay on the court for a long period of time, you have to get your game going.
• It doesn't matter if you can shoot or dribble. Just play tough defense. You can miss a shot at any point in time, but you can never settle for a sloppy defense.
• Rebound. If you do it well, you'll rapidly increase your chances of maximizing your playing time. Rebound is not just a skill, it’s discipline as well.
• Make the extra pass. You will also find yourself getting more passes from your team mates as well, because they make out and be pleased about your unselfishness in the game.

draft | untitled

It’s awful to love someone you couldn’t have. Even if it mattered very much, uncertainties will always be there. For some things don’t just happen, especially when you’re too afraid to let them. Falling – there was no other word to describe it, but until when? For how long will it last? Nevertheless, you waited. Still, no one came. Why had you set it up this way? Albeit wanting to be pragmatic, you always end up fooling yourself with a dose of coyness.

First Cut is the Deepest

Bluer than blue. Sadder than sad. How long will I have to endure the throbbing you’ve caused me? It was so disheartening to know that I wasn’t enough, or should I say, you’d just gone enough of me. Perhaps, it was my fault in the first place. I was the one who pushed this through, not knowing that I was left fighting and skirmishing alone. You could have told me to go before starting this mess. You should have said no the very first time you had the chance to. Why did you have to leave me hanging in pain without trying to explain everything that happened? You made me believe in lies, you made me learn to love you and hate you at the same time. But nevertheless, you made me find out and discover my strengths and the lessons I have to deal with. After all, here’s to you for making me who I am now, for having me realize how blessed I am with all the people I am left with, for teaching me to pummel it down. And as one of my favorite songs speaks out, “I want you to know that I thank you, for everything that you put me through. Yes I know it sounds funny but thank you. Now, there’s nothing left for me to do but to walk away. Walk away from all this.” </3

Let me BLOG you!

♥ Heart Scribes ♥

The changeover from being colleagues to being friends transpires gradually. It is indeed a step by step process. We get in touch to proffer familiarity by being gentle, considerate, supportive and affable to each other. We may be poles apart when it comes to our personality, attitudes and beliefs, but it really doesn’t matter as long as we know where to stand and how to appreciate everyone’s worth fairly. Well, most of the time, our co-workers turn out to be vital for our improvement and growth at work. The connection that we enclose with them for the purpose of our job function or any other things helps us to create that personal and professional attachment. Hence, expressing gratitude is quite indispensable. Thank you! Kudos to all of us!

with LOVE, Daar :')

TWIMC

It took a while until you accidentally came. It shouldn’t have mattered, but still, it seems like you’re never there. We both know that it’s not gonna work out in the first place. Atleast we tried. Atleast, we both got inspired. But at the back of my mind, I’m still hoping for the ‘what ifs’, I’m still having this make-believe that somehow, we really deserve each other.

So now, I can only say thank you, sorry, good luck and good bye. Thanks for your time! I just want you to know that I’ll always be thankful that you spent your time just to make me happy even for a short time. I don’t really care if this was all temporary. I’m just here, I’ll always be here. You were the only person who’d ever made me feel loved, and suddenly you took me for granted. I know that most of the time, it was actually my fault. Sorry for being so clingy. Sorry if you always get irritated because of me. Sorry because this is how I’ll always be. I know that by reading this, you’ll say that I always say sorry for no reason. I couldn’t stop blaming myself for being so attached. You know I tried too hard, but it’s just that it’s all I know I have. Well, I wish you good luck. I hope you’ll be happy and successful in your life, even if I will not be a part of it anymore.  But just now, as I listen to sad songs, it seemed like yesterday. Tears strung my eyes and peaked down my face as I sat here waiting, trying to be strong alone. I really don’t want to say good bye, but I know I have to. There’s no ‘Us’ even from the start and there will be no ‘Us’ at the end of this ride. I won’t say good bye just to let go and forget you. But nonetheless, I’ll bid good bye hoping you’ll realize that I am worth the fight. -Daar

by: MISS TAKEN FOR GRANTED

"It hurts when the person that made you feel special yesterday, makes you feel unwanted today."

More often than not, it’s all about the small things that you think won't matter. If you want to keep someone important around you, you should always make her feel it. If there’s anything a woman extremely dislikes, it’s being taken for granted. It should also feel so effortless if you really think that she rightfully deserves your attention.

We, women would always yearn for appreciation. We don’t like going against people we covet to make an impact on or to win them over. We habitually have room for whatever thing you say, and we will do everything we can just to please you in the anticipation of winning your affection. Hearing a small line of compliments from you would mean the world to us.

Moreover, we usually give more than we typically get back. We just don’t know when to stop giving and we can’t help it. That’s why we always end up giving way too much before we even become conscious about it. And by then, it’s perhaps too late for the reason that the person we’re giving it to, may already be taking us for granted. We consequently can’t say ‘NO’ when it comes to the people we truly treasure and love. We have an awfully stiff time waning something to people. We’d rather take risk than decline. You may think we’re just being sweet, caring and too clingy sometimes, but we love genuinely, and that’s a fact.

        But like every other beings, we also get tired of this long-lived dilemma. We usually strive hard in order for us to overcome this feeling of being unnoticed and unappreciated by the people whom we really want to be a part of our lives. So if ever you realize that you have taken us for granted, always remember that you are always free to make it work the way we wanted it to be. And without a doubt, we’re just a text or a phone call away. 

My billet-doux for Essays.ph

                

Billet-doux (French:  literally, sweet note or love letter) I ought to have my word for the day when I was still in college. I search for unusual words that I can use when I am writing. I even scan throughout the dictionary just to look for words that were unfamiliar, have attention-grabbing pronunciations, and especially those who have meanings I can relay to.

I am always fond of writing about everything I am interested and curious about. I am not the type that is proficient about the know-hows in formal writing and stuff, I just usually jot down words I heard randomly or at some instance, I just literally put my feelings on paper. Basically, I would always write at times when I am depressed or when something pops out of my mind. As I always say, I would rather write than talk.  ‘Twas my legit fall back from reality, to be able to profess my views and beliefs. Well, I never assumed that my paper works were useless, but sometimes, I might think of it as a taken for granted bits and pieces of who I really am.

Until one day, I was just surfing the net and I thought of searching for a part time job mainly being an online writer since I have a night shift job, and I supposed I have lots of free time to make this interest more interesting. I really didn’t expect that I will be accepted as a writer at essays.ph, which was definitely a blast. Mind you, that really came to a realization that I am not just nothing when it comes to writing, that I can also do it creatively and put my heart into every word I will inscribe with my pen or my keyboard, and don’t forget about the bonus points that will surely keep every writer on track.

So, what are the perks of being an essays.ph writer? Well, aside from the online convenience and an opportunity to all frustrated and aspiring writers like me who cannot make it a full-time career, they offer the kind of appreciation I would always crave for. Rather than being content of just having your writing skills hidden, you will get paid in every work/assignment you will be doing with them. You can also interact and share your thoughts to others writers, be friends with them and also learn from them. So there, as simple as ABC but as challenging yet fulfilling kind of satisfaction every writer would want to develop and acquire.

Lastly, one would not become a writer just for the sake of producing money. A writer will never be disheartened. They will not stop writing because it’ll always be their passion, for writers will always be writers, writing from their hearts and sharing stories once ignored and often untold. I can also say that as for me, writing (and reading as well) will always be a part of me. I would always want to share my thoughts and believe that I can also inspire other people with my words.

P.S.

Just keep in mind: “Writing could be a fulfilling, flexible, and fun career at http://www.essays.ph/!"

BASS

When I first saw you, I wasn’t sure if the person on my mind was really you. I watched the live performance of you and the band for the first time. I took photos of you in order to share them with my friends since they know you more than I do. Perhaps, I just knew your face and your name; nothing more, nothing less. But there was this one time when I sent you a tweet and you replied back. Right after that, I was so amazed how you suddenly knew my name the first time we had the chance to talk to each other, and that meant a lot to me. From that day on, I got to know you better on Facebook, Twitter and gigs. I also got the chance to chat you on Facebook, and I admit I became too attached. Sorry if it seemed like I always wanted your attention, maybe it’s just because what I feel was new to my system that’s why I reacted more expressively than other people around. But more than that, I want to thank you. Thank you for always being kind and approachable. It’s such a great feeling that I had the opportunity to be a fan of the band, to be your friend and a girl who only wanted to be appreciated like how you did, and the way you did it. Well, I could not tell stories of each and every gig I had attended. But believe me when I say that those memories will never be forgotten and will forever be treasured. And there was this one time, one gig that would always haunt me, a surreal moment that struck me deep within. Yes, that was really how it matters until now. You congratulated me on my achievements. You said I’m cute, which was kind of disturbing knowing the fact that I’m too young for you. You placed your arm on my shoulders like you’re a brother. You held my hand and played with it for a while. And when it’s time to say goodbye, you kissed my forehead. I was aware that you’re drunk that time but it really didn’t matter. I still believe that you know what you’re doing then, and I got dumbfounded. I didn’t know what to feel and what to react at that very moment. It left me hanging for days, weeks, months and even as of this day. I know that I should not expect anything from you or from anyone else. I am truly aware that I am not the type that you’ll like or love romantically. Maybe those were just friendly gestures you always do even to other girls around, who you got to hang out with. I know there are many girls out there who also feel the same way like I do towards you. But then, even if it feels weird now, I just wanted you to know that for me, you really are a great catch. You’re the boyfriend material. How I hope and wish to be loved by you in return but I know it’ll never gonna happen. By the way, ‘twas nice to know you, I’ll find someone like you, SOON.

TAKE ME AS I AM

I just want to relinquish everything that makes me in such a way inconsolable. I'm tired of being clogged up for the reason that being me is not enough to prove that I deserve to be here. I feel troubled and uneasy because nobody's here to defend me on whatever instance it may be.

Why does it have to be so vague? How can I work it out? How can I be someone they look forward to? Why can't I tell them that what I just really wanted is to be appreciated - someone enough to be noticed?

I offered everything i could give. I controlled my anger and put patience in every part of the way. Yet, I couldn't get my prize. Still, they took me for granted. Until one day, I felt exhaustion. I became tired enduring the pain and the delays without complaint. My perseverance and care didn't seem to work. I'm still their peevish laughing stock. So I decided to let go of the people and the things that hurt me. I realized that I don't have to be stuck here just to be in line with them. I can do it on my own; I can be the best even if I'm not trying too hard. I just have to believe in myself even more.

There are times when I carry my self-effacement to extremes. I tend to excuse others' behavior and make too many demands on myself. Under such a self-imposed rule, my emotions become strained, I become excitable and my temper can flare up and explode. I have a terrible fear of being betrayed and any infringement on my principles can incite my anger. I can say that my will is astonishing, not so much for its intensity, but for its quality.

I am happiest when I'm sharing and giving of myself. My intellect is holistic instead of analytic. I have a fine memory especially on events that have emotional charge or meaning to me. I am also very emotional by nature, but my morals do not allow me to be flippant about my affections; they're delivered from the heart.

OVERDUE

It's hard to trust someone, especially if you know that he/she can make a bluff out of everything. It has been awhile, but it seemed like it was all the same - same ache, same feeling, same kick, same LOVE. All this time, I'm trapped and cornered, like I'm getting nowhere. All along, I thought I have moved on and I can just throw it all away. But time passed by, and now, in just a glimpse, everything comes back like there's nothing happened. Somewhat, it feels like it hasn't been years of waiting. I feel that it's a brand new day, a new start for me to find out what has been lost. But suddenly, I came to a realization that somehow, it can be true, it can be a frank or it can be just a wild joke. How will I know? How can I possibly figure out what's wrong if the moment feels so right for me - if I love it all through out? Even If i know that it is impossible; that it can't be real. Why? Because I just know it since Day 1. I know it can't be me, it won't be me, and it's merely not me. But still, I pushed through. I made it a try because it's all I ever wanted. Unfortunately, luck is not on my side. I just have to let it go. Maybe, it's just their way of saying, "Happy Birthday! This one's for you temporarily. Just for us to see how you will react and how you'll be happy in this short span of time." See? I am wrongly overwhelmed.

muddle-headed

if there's someone that i'll always remember,

it will be the person who made me fall deeper.

like memories that seem to be a scar,

perhaps, it won't be swept away too far.

there are times i get so scared and confused,

when everything happens has no sense and no use.

though i can never turn back time,

is it wrong for me to wish he was mine?

if ever he realized that i'm always here,

he just have to say so, and try to get near.

i'll be satisfied enough just to see him happy,

even if i know that the reason is not me.

inconsolable

tell me how can i give up someone,

if in my heart, i know he's the one.

i always remember all he shares,

don't even know if he really cares.

he said i have to move on now,

didn't he feel that i am hurt somehow?

i never expected anything,

but his words had kept me believing.

now he said he's the one mistaken,

he told me not to feel unspoken.

though i'm so inlove to let go,

this love is too defenseless, i know.